thomas aka jealous girlfriend // for beastthatbearsme, illscreaminstead

[makemebow]

[ Thomas won't lose Chris.

(not to Kaito)

He won't lose, and so he times things. Times it so that when Kaito is due to meet with Chris (and he knows, he always knows), he'll be entering Chris's office to find that Thomas is already there.

(already there and straddling Chris's lap, kissing him almost aggressively and sliding his hands over Chris's torso)

(Chris is his)

(he intends to make sure Kaito knows) ]

Comments

[makemebow]

Nii-sama...

[ It's a plea.

(for Chris, rather than V)

(he needs his brother)

He trembles in V's lap, draws in on himself. He's scared, he knows he should give in but-- but he needs Chris, he needs Chris.

Chris... Chris will understand, won't he? He'll understand why Thomas can't kneel with VI. Why it's wrong to order Thomas to do that.

(Thomas is better than VI)

(even IV would be better than VI, wouldn't he?)

He clutches at his arms, embracing himself as he shakes in V's lap.

(he's smiling, though)

(through his tears)

(Chris will understand)

(he just

needs

Chris) ]

[beastthatbearsme]

[Chris does not come.

It's V, who raises his hand, who strikes Thomas across the face.

(he needs to learn)

(he needs to be punished.)]

1/3

[makemebow]

[ He doesn't ]

[makemebow]

[ understand.

(it

hurts?) ]

[makemebow]

[ Chris--

(no, V)

V hit him?

There's a long moment, where Thomas does nothing at all.

(he doesn't understand)

(why didn't Chris come?)

And then, finally, he lifts himself from V's lap. Sinks to the floor.

(but still, he doesn't

obey)

(still, he only

hides

behind Kaito)

His fingers dig into Kaito's ribs, sharp and trembling.

(he doesn't understand)

(he needs protection but)

(this is his brother)

(except not)

(why does he need protecting?) ]

1/2

[beastthatbearsme]

[He stands up, abruptly, and fastens his jacket again.]

I expected better of you, Thomas.

[He walks stiffly towards the door, talks as he moves.]

He will stay with you tonight, VI, and consider his choice.

I will return in half an hour. I expect both of you will be gone by then.

[And then he's out the door and it slams shut behind him.]

[illscreaminstead]

[He doesn't know what to think, right now, with IV clinging to him like this.

(it was easy to hate him when V seemed to love him so much)

(but now, even if it's nothing compared to what Kaito gets from him, it's)

(different.)

He turns his head to look at IV, at a loss.]

[makemebow]

[ Thomas trembles against Kaito, shivers that don't stop.

(like he's encased in ice, like he's freezing to death)

Clinging on like this, shivering and holding back sobs while tears drip unhindered down his face, he looks younger than he is. Especially when he shifts, scrambles around to put himself in Kaito's lap the best he can manage.

(this thomas is something more broken than the one who is put out in the ring, the one who's clung to Chris in the face of competition)

(Thomas has never had to fend for himself, not really. Chris has always been there)

(he's always had Chris, Chris had been the one who he ran to as a child and the one who'd taken care of them after tou-san had disappeared and the one who'd taken care of him and hurt the people who hurt him and now--)

(Thomas has never been alone)

(and so thomas clings onto Kaito and shivers, and past the tears and the trembling he leans up to try to capture Kaito's lips in a desperate kiss)

(that's the kind of language that the underground understands, isn't it? he needs someone to look after him because he doesn't know how to even consider doing it himself any more)

(he has to be looked after so that he's still here and alive when Chris wants him back)

(but if Chris never wants him back he) ]

[illscreaminstead]

[Thomas is in his lap, and he's leaning in and kissing him and shivering and scared, he's crying.

(something shattered him, something broke him)

(V)

(no, V is the one who hit him but Chris did this part)

(this was Chris' fault)

His heart hurts.

So he kisses Thomas back as gently as he knows how.]

[makemebow]

[ Thomas clings onto Kaito even more tightly when he returns the kiss, but it's not

right.

(this isn't the kind of kiss that marks the underground)

(this isn't the kind of kiss that will bring him sanctuary, salvation)

(that will earn him protection)

So he presses in, tries to deepen the kiss almost desperately. ]

[illscreaminstead]

[He...thinks he understands.

(he started young, just like Kaito)

(so this is his affection, too. this is his love)

He accepts it, when Thomas deepens that kiss, returns it equally. But there's no roughness to it, no biting, nothing made for a show. Nothing to counter the wounds on his neck.

(because they're the same, really, even if Thomas has love and VI has hate)

(when V hit him he remembered something, remembered the night they were going to be free, together, except when Chris came in something had twisted on his face and Kaito had left with bruises)

(he remembered that he would have hurt for him too)

When they break for air, he speaks, without pulling his body away, because there's something he's realized.]

...I want to do something for you.

[makemebow]

[ Thomas drags the kiss out for as long as he can manage, hands running over Kaito's chest - a promise, of what he'll give if he's asked, in exchange for protection, for someone to stand by him and hold him up while Chris won't do it.

(he doesn't know how to stand on his own two feet, not any more)

(as IV, he thinks he could, but IV is

flighty)

(in his mind)

He presses himself in more closely when Kaito speaks, ducks his head down to kiss at the scratches on Kaito's neck. Like he's trying to undo what he did, like he's trying to drown his shivers in the warmth of Kaito's body. ]

What do you mean?

[illscreaminstead]

[He keeps him close, shivers back a little at the kisses at his neck and the hands sliding over his chest, mirroring.]

When he calls you, you're always pleasing him, right?

[He doesn't know that for sure, but...he knows that their time in service hit Chris harder than it hit him. He knows that V...wouldn't remind himself of that, if he could avoid it.]

So...let me do that for you.

[He doesn't know exactly what he's trying to accomplish, with this.

(but he doesn't want him to go back to V still blind)]

[makemebow]

[ When Kaito says that, makes that offer, Thomas lifts his head.

(startled)

(almost scared)

(he needs Kaito to protect him and so Kaito is the one who needs to be pleased but

he should give Kaito what he wants, shouldn't he?)

(and something like this, while they're here, here where Chris could hear...)

He shakes his head sharply. ]

Nii-sama wouldn't like it.

[ He's already displeased Chris once today. He can't...

He needs to be good, now, and then maybe-- ]

[illscreaminstead]

[He raises an eyebrow.

(the fact that IV looks frightened, at that, that makes his stomach knot up)

(but he can't show that)]

...He wouldn't like it if you felt good?

[State it plain, like that. That's what Kaito does with himself. One of those things that keeps him grounded.

(because Kaito knows this isn't how things are suppised to be)

(Chris showed him, when he was still Chris, before his lessons made him V)]

[makemebow]

[ He shakes his head, again. ]

He wouldn't... wouldn't like it if I only took.

[ He wants Kaito's protection. If he were to take pleasure from Kaito, too, that... that would be too much.

(thomas can justify any pain)

(all it takes is one word from Chris, one gesture)

(one jerk of his strings) ]

I have to-- I have to give back to you.

You shouldn't encourage something like that. You don't deserve his attention if you don't know how to behave right.

[ The words are more himself, but the tone...

(it's like he's reciting something memorised)

(dancing in his sleep the steps of a dance he knows better than breathing) ]

[illscreaminstead]

[He's about to argue, tell him that's not right, tell him it's not a trade. Not between them, at least.

But Thomas keeps talking, chiding him, and his expression goes flat.

Maybe IV has had this drilled into him, maybe he thinks this is the way things work, but Kaito feels like he should know better about this. About the kind of attention Kaito gets from V.

(maybe he has empathy for him but he's not going to pretend for him)]

Deserve his...

IV, have you ever seen my back?

[makemebow]

[ Thomas hesitates, one thing standing out in there most of all for the moment, and then he shifts one hand to grip Kaito's sleeve. ]

Thomas. Not IV. IV isn't... here. Right now. IV is different.

[ He doesn't know how to explain it, the haziness of when he's 'IV'. when he becomes 'Thomas' again. Everything's clear, as IV, and then he's Thomas again and it's like he's lost a part of himself.

(lost his will, his spirit)

Now that he's told Kaito though, he shakes his head. Slow, hesitant. ]

But... but no, I haven't seen it.

[illscreaminstead]

[...he's never really understood the "persona" that he's heard other heels talk about, but...he hears that, sometimes. When they take their stage name and talk like that's a separate person.

So he nods.

(it gets him too close, to use his real name, but if IV's not who he is, then)]

Thomas, then.

...Move for a moment so I can show you.

[makemebow]

[ Thomas has never understood the idea of a 'persona' for the cage either, not really. IV, for him, is... new.

(he'd always been Thomas, even when everyone had called him IV)

Kaito is asking him to move then, though, and he hesitates. He doesn't want to but--

(but he has to do as Kaito says, doesn't he?)

(disobeying was what caused this in the first place and so)

He pulls back, arms wrapping around himself as he watches Kaito closely. ]

[illscreaminstead]

[He feels...a little guilty, pushing him away. But he can come back to Kaito after this, if he wants to.

He turns around and tugs off his shirt.

(it's a beautiful design, really, even if it's not done)

(his number stands out, embellished like it's illuminated in a book of hymns, VI drawn out large in little white lines)

(there's part lower down on his back that's very new, if the bandages are any indication, and a few lines on his shoulder that haven't quite scarred over yet)

(a crest is laid behind the number)

(he knows it by heart)

He sits and waits for Thomas to speak.]

[makemebow]

[ Thomas doesn't, though. Speak, that is.

(he knows that crest)

(he knows it and

he doesn't want to know it)

(because if it were just the number, then maybe-- maybe it could be someone like the customer who gave him his scar. someone who'd hurt him, someone who'd wanted to mark Kaito like Thomas was marked, but with the number. anyone from the audience would know Kaito's number, wouldn't they?)

(but the crest, they wouldn't know)

(Chris would)

(and that means--)

He doesn't speak, even though he wants to shout and scream that no, it can't be. Wants to tell himself that it's not Chris's handiwork, that he must have-- that he must have shown the crest to someone else, that it must have been somebody who knew their father, nevermind the fact that the numbers are there to stop anyone knowing who they are, aren't they?

(he can't)

(he's justified so much to himself, convinced himself of so much but

with that crest and that number laid out before him on Kaito's back he

can't) ]

[illscreaminstead]

[He's clutching his knees.

He wants to turn around but he doesn't want to face him, after this. Either he didn't know and Kaito has slapped him awake or he did know and Kaito is alone.

All he can think to do is speak. To tell him why.

He tries to keep his voice calm but there's a faint tremble in it, and his throat is too tight for it to sound normal, really.]

He told me that once it's covered all of me, I'll have finished my penance.

[makemebow]

[ Kaito is speaking and all Thomas wants is for him to stop. He doesn't want to listen because-- because...

(because Chris is everything)

(niisama and promoter and protector and)

(he's the one who makes it better when Thomas is hurt, he's only supposed to hurt people who are bad and IV doesn't like VI but Kaito isn't bad and even VI isn't, he's competition but he's not bad) ]

I--

Please. I don't want to see it any more.

[illscreaminstead]

[He hears that and he doesn't waste time pulling his shirt back on, turning to face Thomas again.

(although he can't really look at him right now, so he settles for staring at the floor in front of his own knees)

It takes a moment for his head to clear, for him to remember V's order.]

...he said you'd stay with me tonight.

Do you have anything to pack?

[He doesn't want to rush him to move, not now, but he also doesn't want to run over their half-hour time limit.]